Friday, May 14, 2010
"I love you buddy.
We're gonna make it."
I know it is asking alot of you in this society to sit and watch a 10 minute video. But please start this post off by watching this video by Rob Bell.
I have cried more than once because of this video. This one video has impacted me on a level I didn't think possible when I put the dvd in my dvd player. I found myself in a deep state of reflection, or unhappiness back in Novemeber. The world felt like it was falling apart. My grandfather was passing away. Friendships were really weighing heavy on me, and as it always seems to be, I didn't realize how far away from God I felt. I spent my days driving and thinking about life and death all day. I would get in the shower in the mornings and my first thought would be about how short life is. About how I would blink in the shower and open my eyes to my grandchildren looking at me on a hospital bed telling me goodbye. I couldn't shake this focus on death, and life in general. I started viewing life as a television. Like the world was passing me by and I was just watching it from inside my head. I admit this view is completly unhealthy, but its not like I got to that place on purpose. I honestly think it was part of the mourning process, or a side effect of the mourning of the loss of my grandfather.
I wasn't happy, I couldn't stop thinking of life and death. It made my food taste bland, if I was hungry for that matter. It took away my apetite, my drive, everything. It drained me day in and day out. I would wake up, go to work for my cousin, and then I would hit the pillow and I would look up to the ceiling and say out loud, "God, please make these days longer. God please don't let life just pass me by." And this went on for a couple of weeks, if not the whole month of November. It was an extemely hard time for me, I don't even like conveying to you the feelings I felt.
One day earlier in the year, me and my brother went to one of our favorite stops, Mckays in Nashville and I saw that they had a copy of the first of Rob Bell's Nooma series, Rain. So I bought it for $5 and then took it home. I watched it with Cooper and Emma that day and really loved it. Not only was the message really amazing, but the visuals and everything really just captured me. I then just put the dvd away in my dvd collection and forgot about it.
One night that I feeling so down and just looking for God to do something to stop this constant thought process, I remembered that dvd. So I put the dvd in and watched it all by myself in my bedroom at around midnight. I watched it and the message was so relevant to what I was going through and the emotions I felt, but the thing that got me was the very end. Where Rob was talking about how God is like the father in the woods with the child. He's holding us tight in His arms and whispering in our ears, "It's going to be alright, I love you buddy."
Even now I can feel the tears in the back of my eyes. I had never thought about God this way. I immediately thought of my father when I was watching this. About how my dad has always been there to hold me and tell me, "It's gonna be alright buddy, I love you." I can not describe the love I have for my dad. My dad is my hero. My dad is my rock. My dad is my everything. And with my dads amazing example I was able to see God the way that Rob Bell was describing God. God is like your father standing there holding you tight and just whispering in your ear, "It going to be alright. I love you." I broke down. I cried harder than I have cried in a long time. I laid in bed and just poured it all out to God and I knew that it was true. In those times where the world in coming down on you, where the rain in pouring down on your head, God is there.
Like the child, we see only the storm. We hear only the lightning, and we only see the rain through our blurred vision. And then we begin to scream and cry. We are in pain. We are suffering in this moment. And God is there. God was there before, but most of the time we don't see that. Normally we just see storm and our suffering we don't see or feel God's presence in our lives. We think that if terrible things happen that God isn't there. But that isn't true. Bad things happen because the world isn't perfect anymore. Bad things happen, and bad things will continue to happen. We just have to know that. Just because we are christians does not mean that the world will come easy to us. If anything it might be the complete opposite. But God is there always. He doesn't take breaks. He is there through it all. The thing that changes though is our perspective.
We don't realize that we shift our perspective only on the disaster at hand and then wonder where God is. But how can we not ask this question? We are humans who are dependent on a God, of course we are going to ask this question, and thats not a bad thing. But the thing is we can't shift our blame on God. I have found myself mad at God, recently. I have had this fire in my chest that makes me not want to talk with God. I haven't understood why God would allow so many people to lose their homes like they have in Nashville these last 2 weeks. Why He has allowed my basement to flood and for my family to now have start all over downstairs, and in the meanwhile live all crammed on the top floor of my house. I have this anger with Him. But then I remember...
God isn't the one who is causing floods and laughing at us.
He isn't a big bully up there watching us suffering and doing nothing about it.
God is there.
And he's holding us in his arms.
"Buddy, we're gonna get through this. I love you. We're gonna make it."
As Rob Bell put it, through this time of trial with his son, he felt so close and so intimate with his son. He wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world.
I truly believe that is how God feels all the time. He wants us to lay in His arms through the struggles. He wants us to be close with Him through these times that we don't understand. He wants to share this moment with us. This moment that could be so intimate. So powerful, if we let it. This is the perspective that I pray that we all find.
With the disaster in Nashville these last few weeks and with so many of my friends and family affected by this national disaster, this is the way I pray we can all view this situation. We are hurting. We are crying, we only can see our losses. We lost our homes, our roads, and even for some, family members. The time is hard right now. It is not an easy time for Nashville. There is a lot of pain. A lot of hurt. We need to cry out. God is there when we cry out. God hears the cries of His children. Cry out to God and let Him know what's on your heart. Cry out to God.
But the thing I want to remind everyone of is that, as Rob Bell put it, God is holding us tight against his chest. He's whispering in our ears,
"It's going to be alright."
"We're going to make it buddy."
"I love you."
"Were Gonna Make It."
Whenever you find yourself just feeling so lost and the world is caving in on you. Remember that and listen. Listen for God's whisper,
"I love you buddy."
"Were gonna make it."
Media Associated with this post:
Song: When It Rains
Video "Rain" by Rob Bell. This is video one of his Nooma series.
All Photos taken from Google Images. Except for the street light picture, taken by Crosspoint Church Photographer's